


She Should be Here

by Jubilee44



Series: Philidosia Christmas One Shots [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 19:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13014240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubilee44/pseuds/Jubilee44
Summary: It's Theo's first Christmas since her mother passed away in the spring. The holidays are a horrible reminder of what she's lost and she wants nothing to do with the celebrations.





	She Should be Here

**Author's Note:**

> 4\. First Christmas since the tragedy

            Philip walked into school with a smile on his face. He was wearing his ugly sweater of the year and was damn proud of it. Like his mother, he always dove headfirst into the holiday spirit.

            Some girls giggled as he passed by. He smiled in their direction, knowing how much of a ham he was for attention. But he was taken and very happily at that.

            Speaking of Theo, Philip was eager to find her to show off his sweater. He moved through the halls and her usual hangouts before the first period. But none of her friends said they’d seen her at all that morning.

            Confused, Philip continued on searching until he walked by the guidance counseling office. Through the glass windows, he could see his girlfriend walking out of one of the rooms. She was visibly upset and wiped her eyes.

            The counselor handed her a few more tissues as she left his office and sat down in the little waiting area.

            Philip went in to greet her. “Hey…”

            Theo looked up at him with red eyes. “Oh, Philip.” She hastily used the tissues to dab away her tears. “Sorry, I was just-I know we were supposed to meet up this morning.”

            “That’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He sat down and touched her shoulder. “What’s up? Do you want to talk to me?” He asked.

            Theo sniffled and ducked her head. She hadn’t cried in front of him. They had only been dating a few months and she didn’t want to embarrass herself. “It’s nothing, you really don’t have to worry about it.”      

            “Well, I know you don’t want me to but that’s sort of tough. I mean…I’m supposed to look out for you, right?” He swallowed and his joy from just a few moments ago was sucked away. It was painful to see his best friend crying. “Did something happen?”

            She shook her head. “No,”

            “Because if someone did something, I’ll…”

            “Philip, nothing happened. I’m just upset about the holidays.” Theo clarified finally.

            “Oh.” He gently rubbed her shoulder. “Anything in particular?”

            “I miss my mom.”

            Philip felt like smacking himself on the forehead. He had nearly forgotten that Theo had lost her mother. It had been before they started dating, early in the year. But they were still friends. Philip wanted to comfort her then but he felt like it wasn’t his place. So he patiently waited for her to come around again. He wasn’t going to just sit around again.

            “Geez, Theo, I’m sorry.” He fumbled over his words. “I didn’t even realize, I should’ve figured…”

            “It’s not your fault.” She sighed and tossed the ball of wadded up tissues in the trashcan by the sofa. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.” She took a shaky breath and looked up at the ceiling. “I thought that since I was able to live my life again that it would just be easy to handle everything. Then Thanksgiving came up and I realized she wouldn’t be there. But I could handle that so I thought Christmas would be easier.” Her eyes welled up with tears again. “I thought things would be okay. She promised everything would be okay when she was gone. But now my dad…he was crying in his office last night. I haven’t seen him cry since she died.” Everything spilled out of her and she wasn’t ashamed, to be honest with him. She assumed it wouldn’t be easy but Philip was being so caring, she felt safe.

            Philip moved closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I can’t even imagine losing my mom. There’s literally nothing I could compare that to and I won’t pretend to act like I know how you feel. But I want you to know that I’ll be here for you.” He said gently. “Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I’ll be there.”

            Theo used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe away her tears. “You’re too much.”

            “Yeah, I can be a handful sometimes.” Philip smiled gently. “I mean look at my sweater.”

            A laugh broke through her tears. “Where did you even find that?”

            “Online, look it even lights up.” He turned on the little switch to make the small lights blink.

            “You’re crazy.”

            “I know. And I hope your dad doesn’t mind.” Philip shrugged. “If you two want to come over for Christmas Eve at my house, you can.” He offered. “My mom is making dinner.”

            “Oh, no we couldn’t.” Theo shook her head.

            “Honestly, my mom would be offended if you didn’t come. We’re already having like twenty people over, so two more people isn’t a big deal. You two shouldn’t be alone for Christmas.” Philip replied.

            Theo looked up at him. “Okay.” She nodded. “Thank you.”

            Philip smiled and kissed her forehead. “No problem.”

            “We should probably be getting to class.” Theo reached for her backpack.

            “I think our teacher wouldn’t mind if we stayed here,” Philip assured her and leaned back on the sofa. “Just take the time to relax.”

            Theo smiled slightly and leaned into him. She couldn’t help but think about how much her mother would adore her boyfriend.


End file.
